Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
