if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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