Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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