I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
