Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
wow bdsm is so cute
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