I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
