Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
