I'm gonna have a badass scar
It's Friday. Sex?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
