trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
