so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
