At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is it because I queefed?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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