We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize