He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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