At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
