I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
