Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
