if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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