we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My day in three words: secret purse cake
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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