I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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