Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
