i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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