if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
