question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
