No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
