It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
