i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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