I can text with my tongue
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
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