so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
