I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
