dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
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