I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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