If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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