chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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