I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize