You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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