I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i would one night stand the shit outta him
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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