i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
