this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I need to calm my uterus...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
