sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i think im in europe. pls send help
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
