sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
