i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
ugly people sure do ruin things
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
