I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
