roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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