We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
