so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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