But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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