I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i wish my penis had a tongue
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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