Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize