It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
