a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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