im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
either way he was missing a nipple.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
