You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm passing your future prison.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I supernannyed him into submission
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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