R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
