so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
