Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
