the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
