It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
