did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
