Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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