I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
