mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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